true self

8 Nourishing Steps to Grow your True Self

How do we grow our true self and why is this so important?

Your life is a unique experience, a marvelous journey that is always moving into the unknown. The best part of the experience happens after discovering who you really are. To achieve the true self and live it unapologetically is the greatest joy in life. 

Until that moment happens, you walk through life not really knowing your true self because you have spent many years listening to others and an inner voice that has only been criticizing and judging you, creating a false self-image. 

But then that wake-up call comes, the day when you ask, who am I really? Thus, the courageous quest to find your true self begins. Finding yourself may sound like a self-centered goal but in truth it is an unselfish process. Who you are is at the root of everything you do in life. If you want to live a life of purpose and meaning, you must first know who you are, what you value, and what you have to offer others. 

Never feel selfish or guilty for discovering who you are and what’s most important to you.

Personal quests are unique and everyone who undertakes the journey benefits. It’s a process of letting outdated layers of yourself go because they don’t reflect your true self today. It involves remembering who you are. Discovering your true self is turning on the passion that wants to flow through you, to be open and vulnerable and really feel your personal power. 

Personal quests are not something to fear or avoid. They don’t involve reprimanding yourself for your perceived mistakes and failures. In fact, these journeys are more about inviting the curious and compassionate parts of you to join the unfolding of the true SELF. 

Eight Steps to Find and Grow your True Self.

1. Connect the dots of your past.

Each of us has our own story and within that story are clues to who we are and why we do what we do. Your story is to be courageously explored, but you need to be willing to be a seeker of truth. You need to get clear on how you want to define yourself and make sense of what has happened so far. Most of all you should learn how your history impacts present-day behavior.

Our environment is always shaping us in more ways than we would care to admit, with the most influence occurring during our childhood, Painful early life experiences may have shaped us in many ways that moved us out of alignment with our true self. 

For example, having a critical parent may have caused you to feel the need to be perfect. You may have grown up always feeling not good enough and with a fear of failure. Carrying such a burden as a child affects our sense of self in adulthood. 

How is your past affecting your behavior today? Which pattern of behavior is self-limiting or self-destructive?

Questions need to be asked that seek out the root cause of our unhelpful and often self-sabotaging behavior. Once you acknowledge what’s driving your behavior, you can begin to change it. 

Reflecting on the past can help you move forward. The most challenging moments in life are opportunities to deepen self-understanding and connection with others.

2. Develop a strong sense of self.

To live according to your true self, you need to separate yourself from negative imprinting. You need to courageously break away from those harmful internalized voices and thought processes, release the outdated coping strategies and develop your adult values, beliefs, and ideals. 

3. Seek purpose and meaning.

When there is a lack of meaning and purpose, it can make life feel somewhat empty and lonely. When you find a sense of purpose, you understand what truly matters. The resulting meaning and potential to genuinely connect with others brings a richer level of fulfillment than is otherwise possible. 

4. Focus on what you want to achieve.

For many, a general rule of thumb is to focus on what we don’t have, falling victim to negative thoughts and complaining. It’s a conscious choice to turn your attention to the positives that life has to offer. It’s a choice to invest your time and energy into finding what really matters to you and how you will manifest that. Knowing what you want is essential to finding your true self.

find self personal power

5. Acknowledge your internal power.

To achieve what you desire, you must tap into your powerful internal source. You need to become an observer of your thoughts, recognizing that your thoughts are not who you are. Recognizing that you are the creator of your thoughts is to become the master of your destiny. There is an unlimited source of strength, confidence, love, compassion, and talent that you have gathered over the course of your life. Are you tapping into it on purpose?

You should also find a safe way to drop the defenses and acknowledge the pain that lurks inside you. For it is through this pain that you learn the most about who you are. To truly feel you are winning in life, for example, you must embrace how it feels to lose, for life is a game of balance. You only know joy and fulfillment because you have also felt sadness and emptiness.

6. Exchange your inner critic for your inner coach.

Becoming an emotionally mature adult means finding new ways to reparent yourself that do not involve criticism or unhealthy attitudes. Judging yourself is a destructive thought process that makes you feel unworthy. From this state of low worth, you naturally want to soothe yourself.

However, when soothing attitudes do not come from a place of love, they are ultimately ineffective. They may have you giving up on yourself, which opens you to become involved in relationships that are controlling. Learning about your internal critic and healing it is an essential step in becoming your true self. 

7. Practice compassion and be of service to others.

Finding your true path in life requires both self-compassion and compassion for others. Studies show that people get more joy from giving than they do from getting and so you become happier when you are creating goals that go beyond yourself and contribute positively to the lives of other people.

Have you discovered the most important way for you to be of service to your fellow human beings? It’s a key to living out your true self.

8. Find your soul family.

Families of origin should not have the final say in determining who we are. Once you become an adult you get to choose a soul family of your own making. You get to seek out the people who make you happy and inspire you. This may or may not include people to whom you are related by birth.

A soul family consists of those you have consciously chosen, a core group of souls you resonate with. Surrounding yourself with a soul family has a profound effect on how you view the world as well as how supported you feel throughout life. 

Get Coached

Becoming authentic is a process of learning, understanding and knowing your TRUE self personality traits, behaviors, values, beliefs, needs, goals and motives. To do this you need to be courageous, acknowledge your limitations, and embrace your vulnerability.

Helping others grow the true self is what I do! If you’re on a spiritual path and feel your true self wanting to emerge, I can help you realize your full potential. 

Inner Dynamic coaching is a process that consists of three components:

Seek – begin to learn about yourself and know how different parts of you make you…well, you. Connect with your true self, your inner child, and discover other important parts of you, their role, purpose, and story.

Heal – begin to rewire your brain as you process your thoughts and feelings. Raise awareness, understanding and find the self-compassion to help the various parts of you to move out of the past and integrate into the present.

Transform – I’ll help you to incorporate new behaviors and habits that support self-realization, deepen spirituality, allow you to break free from limiting beliefs, and pursue goals that are aligned with your truth.

Rachel Goss
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