Home | Turning Your Frog Back into a Prince (or princess)
Turning Your Frog Back into a Prince (or princess)
How many people could have given you what you wanted if you actually wanted to be loved?
Unfortunately, because of our deeper attachment to deprivation or rejection, we keep ourselves from receiving what would fulfill us. Or, maybe we actually pick a person that has the potential to satisfy our needs, yet because of our poor behavior, they give up on us.
When I look back on my life, I can see many people who loved me and whom I rejected. Whether I rejected them from the start, because it was obvious they would give me what I needed, or they rejected me because of my terrible behavior caused by my attachment to rejection.
Attachments are powerful. They cloud everything good in our life with a haze of dissatisfaction. They keep us from accepting ourselves and seeing the good in others. Attachments keep us dependent on the victim feelings we get when we are disappointed and hurt. Attachments suck.
If you haven’t watched the video where I explain an incident between Mike and I, you should watch it. It shows how, because of my deprivation attachment, I can’t see him as a good guy who is willing to meet my needs, even though he has every intention of meeting my needs and a history to prove it. Attachments really do keep us from living a great life and appreciating our partners and people who love us.
So how do you turn a frog into a prince (or princess)?
I think the fable is correct.
Kiss them more.
When we aren’t getting our needs met by our partner, sometimes it’s because we aren’t expecting them to get met. If we have the deprivation or rejection attachment (which most of us do), we have determined that our needs are simply not going to get met.
It really doesn’t matter what a person does at that point. It’s either not going to be good enough or we don’t even see it. Regardless, the attachment gets in the way. They remain a frog. Even if they were a prince or princess at one time, our attachment can’t let allow that for too long before we turn them into something unfulfilling.
What I’m saying is that we subconsciously turn them into a frog. And, if they have attachments, as they probably do, they have turned us into a frog as well. Then, we live in “frogdom” for the rest of our lives. This is a typical dysfunctional relationship.
Now if you are happy living in the muck of a pond, stay there. If you dream of something better, something more fulfilling than eating flies all day, you can have it. It is right there, buried in your subconscious. It’s your attachment to muck!
Ridding yourself of your attachment to deprivation or rejection will allow you to turn your frog into a prince, turn yourself into a princess (or vice versa) and move out of the pond into the castle.
What does it involve? Consciously choosing to get your needs met, not your needs to be deprived or rejected.
It takes being intentional about your behaviors, no longer reacting on autopilot, but choosing to approach your partner with what you would like to receive. If you want more love, be more loving. If you want more attention, be more attentive. It’s really basic. Unfortunately, our attachments have gotten in the way and somehow mixed up the simplicity of it and hooked us on the opposite.
When we can see how our attachments have created the unhappiness we experience on a day-to-day basis, we can let them go. Then, we are free to make the choice to be happy.
Take it from someone who has kissed many princes and turned them into frogs.
If you want to be happier, pay more attention to the ones you love. Give them more kisses. Let them know how much you love them. Choose to see the best in them. If they were ever a prince or a princess, they will turn back into themselves.
If you would like to learn further about how to identify your attachments and move of the mud, check out our A-H-A Solution Program. I can tell you, guaranteed, Mike and I would still be living in frogdom if we weren’t intentionally using the principles of our A-H-A Solution program everyday.
The awesome thing is that as you implement the tools into your daily life, your autopilot reactions stop coming from your attachments and turn into what you consciously want. It’s really amazing and I am so thankful!
Hope Bundrant is the director and co-founder of the iNLP Center. She has a BFA from the California State University of Fullerton and has completed postgraduate education at Harvard Business School. Hope is happily married to Mike Bundrant and manages their circus of teenage monkeys. If you have questions, please contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.