Well, you don’t have to get frustrated. Just ‘steal’ their confusion with this friendly NLP mind trick.
Confusion and other states are transferable. Much like a lazy yawn, they can be passed on to other people. Skilled NLP practitioners can use this phenomenon to ‘steal’ confusion so that the original carrier is set free.
This NLP mind trick is rarely shared, so read carefully and don’t forget to try it when you can be of help to someone in need.
To do this well, you should understand that we are all connected. Merely being in the presence of another person has an effect. There is no way around this and no one has ever been immune from it.
How do you want to impact other people? How intentional do you want to become?
Mainstream education is proponent of perceptual blindness in this matter. Awareness of powerful non-verbal communication patterns is simply not taught in schools. NLP advocates radically enhanced awareness of non-verbal patterns, conscious intention and choice. The more awareness you have about the nature of communication, the greater your opportunity to serve others and make the world a better place.
Now, on to this matter of stealing confusion and setting people free. You’re going to LOVE this….
1. When someone is confused about something while engaged in conversation with you (assuming you have trust and rapport), listen politely and give them a chance to work it out on their own. If they don’t need you to steal their confusion, don’t attempt it.
2. If they are indeed stuck in a confused state and can’t seem to get clear, steal it! Here’s how: Become confused at their confusion. Act as if they are confusing you. Better, allow yourself to truly become confused by their confusing situation. Get sucked in!
3. When this trick works, the other will respond to your confusion by popping out of their own confusion and explaining (often spilling the beans about something they were hiding from themselves) everything to you in surprisingly clear manner.
Norm: I don’t get it. How did I get here? I don’t have a dime to my name and, well, I don’t know what to do. Should I start my own business? Wait, I can’t do that. How will I live? I am so messed up!
NLP Master: You really don’t have a dime? (Keeps the conversation going to allow Norm a chance to work out a clear direction on his own).
Norm: Huh? I don’t know. No. I mean, sure, I have a dime, but…what the hell happened to my life? I just don’t get it.
NLP Master: You don’t get what?
NLP Master: I honestly don’t know. I’m so confused! I wish I knew how to escape my own head sometimes, really. I don’t know what’s going on. I wish I had more money, but…(he looks off into the distance as if searching on the horizon, his brow furrowed and stuck in a deep, confused trance. He remains this way for 10 seconds or so before the NLP Master intervenes).
NLP Master: Hmm. I seem to be getting confused myself (He takes on a confused look, sinking into his chair and diminishing his posture). I’m not sure how to… (He cocks his head to one side and furrows his brow)….I really don’t get it. This IS confusing! How could….?
Norm: Um, I guess it’s actually not that complicated. I mean, I don’t track my expenses – at all. That’s it! I have no idea how much money I spend every month and really should be on a budget, something I have been resisting for years. Who can expect to spend so freely and not have financial troubles? God, I knew this day would come – I have to grow up and hold myself accountable to a budget. Then, if I can save some money, I would eventually like to make a break from my dead end job and start a business.
NLP Master: Ah! Thank you! Now that makes perfect sense.
Once the air is clear and the confusion has dissipated, the trick is done. Now, Norm has his work cut out for him, but is no longer confused!
Now get out there and try it. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results. And if you really want to master communication, check out our NLP trainings.
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