And it’s a fair question. There are definite reasons why you are unhappy, but that does not mean you understand them.
Most us of keep those reasons securely locked away, even though others may see them more clearly.
It doesn’t matter, however, if others understand why I am so unhappy. It only matters if I understand. It only matters if you understand.
If you are ready to answer the question, “Why am I so unhappy?” then this simple post may change your life forever. I will speak boldly here because I know my words apply to me as well as you.
If you are asking yourself why you are so unhappy, then it is important that you understand what ISN’T causing you unhappiness first, even if it hurts.
Assuming you are of adult age, chronologically:
You are not unhappy because of others.
You are not unhappy because of outside circumstances.
You are not unhappy because of your wealth or poverty.
You are not unhappy because of your body, your job, your car, your spouse, boss, siblings, parents or your neighbor.
Nothing outside of you adequately answers the question why am I so unhappy?
That only leaves something within you that is the cause of your unhappiness. So, if you are still with me, let’s figure it out.
First of all, the full answer is offered in our free video, the AHA Solution. It lasts 20 minutes. By the end of it, you will know more than most PhDs as to why you are unhappy. Watch it.
The short answer is psychological attachments. Psychological attachments distort your perception to such a degree that you might not even believe, at first. Here’s what happens:
1. Because you were born into a world very different than the one you came from (the womb), and due to your imperfect upbringing, you learned to seek unhappiness. You learned that it was not OK to be happy. You were punished for celebrating, for being excited, joyful or for needing things that would make you feel safe and content.
2. After months and years of being denied access to happiness, you gave up and got used to the feeling of emptiness and deprivation.
3. Emptiness and deprivation became your default and you learned to seek out this old, familiar state and avoid happiness consistently, even after happiness became available to you.
Now you avoid happiness as a way of life because unhappiness is feels more like home. Happiness became something for others, not you. If you are going to become happy, then you need to change this. Happiness needs to become the default.
This may seem like a daunting task. It may fill you with fear. But it is possible. It requires education. You need to begin to notice the choices you are making to avoid the happiness that is possible for you to get today. And you need to understand why you seek unhappiness (because you find a familiar satisfaction in it).
When you square yourself with this reality, you will have answered the question why am I so unhappy?
With the answer in hand, you will begin to right your course toward happiness and avoid wrong turns. Begin with this free video, which will give you several AHA experiences and pave the way out of the unhappiness trap you are in.
Mike Bundrant is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP trainer, and practicing life coach. He and his wife, Hope, founded iNLP Center in 2011. For information on coaching with Mike, please visit his coaching website AHA System.