Most people think, when faced with an incredible loss, they just have to hunker down and get through the pain and suffering. For the most part it’s true. However, the grieving process can be a great opportunity for growth. You can learn to develop resourceful states as you move through the inevitable stages of grieving. By developing resourceful states you will be able to manage your pain and suffering and not fall into a pit of despair.
Human beings have been experiencing grief for as long as we have been gifted life. We have our loved ones in our lives and think they will be there forever. Then, one day, they are gone in a moment. Finally, we begin our own stages of grief.
In psychology, there is something known as the five stages of grief. This theory is derived from the Kubler-Ross model. It consists of denial, anger,
bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Now, while some dispute these, I find them not only logical but accurate in my experience. The key is, how do they come to us as individuals, and what can we do to process these feelings in a resourceful way?
When we experience the death of a loved one, our stages of grieving can be quite confusing. Most of us may have different ways of handling it. Most of us start out really sad. From there, the road can fork, wind, and twist. Some of us go down the path of denial. Some turn to anger. Others remain sad until they sink into a state of depression.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “time heals all wounds.” This saying can be true for many. So, what are we to do in those days, weeks, and even months after we lose a loved one? We still have our jobs, relationships, interests, and the people that count on us. How can a person in so much pain work through these stages of grieving in a resourceful and productive way so they can manage the other components in their life?
WHAT ARE RESOURCEFUL STAGES OF GRIEVING?
Resourceful stages of grieving is a way to be present in your current situation while creating resourceful states, communications, and behaviors to manage yourself throughout your grief. They are beneficial to your state of mind and positive and productive ways to conduct your behavior. Grief is tough! There is no doubt about it. It is what you do to manage those resourceful stages of grieving that make the big difference in your day to day life.
I invite you to keep in mind that it is not only death that creates grief in our lives. Have you ever lost the love of your life to a breakup and felt the grief? What about working at a job that you loved and suddenly were laid off or even terminated? Grief can also come from the changes in a relationship such as when your kids grow up and move away. There are many ways we can grieve as human beings. However, it is up to each person to decide to create resourceful stages of grieving so that they can make the most of a tough situation.
HOW CAN YOU CREATE RESOURCEFUL STAGES OF GRIEVING?
So how do we create resourceful stages of grieving? Let me start by telling you that it is not a onetime fix. Creating resourceful grieving states is a lifetime plan. It takes practice, effort, and work that lasts day after day. This practice should not scare you. It should be empowering!
Think about the exciting prospect of learning a set of skills that will allow you to cry and grieve with your heart and feelings while behaving and communicating with your mind and logic. Think of how it will feel knowing you won’t fall into despair when facing future loss. You’ll have a plan.
This powerful skill set that has helped not just me, but many others to work through and manage their grief while finding the joy and quality of their life. No matter what type of grief you encounter, it is better to make your time resourceful!
Try these three things when you are feeling grief gnawing at you.
- Decide how you want to feel even if you don’t feel that way at that moment. (visualize it)
- Step into that feeling as if you already feel that way. (give yourself a break and go with it.)
- Do one thing that would honor the one you are grieving over. (If no one has died, honor what you want for yourself!)
YOU HAVE IT WITHIN YOU TO MANAGE YOUR STAGES OF GRIEVING
Just remember, it is ok to be sad. It is normal to feel despair if you are experiencing grief. However, it’s important to continue to get up every day and do something bold and brave to honor those or what you have lost. Doing this will make all the difference in the world and help you move through your stages of grieving.
You have the power within you to resourcefully and successfully manage your stages of grieving. However, we do need a guide to help us find and build these resources. To learn more about the resourceful stages of grieving and how you can learn the skills, contact me for more information and a free consultation.