I am thrilled to present this guest post by author Guy Finley. Guy’s work has been translated into 20 languages and has sold more than a million copies worldwide. It is an honor to have him as our special guest.
Near the end of a busy afternoon, a senior caddie at an exclusive golf club is making his appointed rounds – double-checking that everything is in its proper place – when he wanders into the clubhouse locker room.
And what does he see there – sprawled out on the floor – but an obviously completely exhausted man, someone he recognizes as being a new member. At first he fears the man may have fallen and hit his head, but after touching him gently, the man leaps to his feet…a terrified look in his eye.
“Are you all right?” asks the caddie. “You gave me a start, finding you lying there like that.”
“Yes…sorry, really…yes…I’m OK,” answers the man.
“Are you sure? You look completely drained. If you don’t mind me asking, how many rounds of golf did you play today? Never saw a man so tired as to pass out on the floor!”
Hesitating a bit, the member replies: “Well, truthfully, I haven’t been out to play yet.”
Squinting his eyes, as if trying to fathom what the man has said, the caddie asks: “I’m not sure I understand, then. You look as if you played 72 holes.”
The man’s face turns slightly red, obviously embarrassed over something, and then he answers, barely above a whisper:
“I guess I was so worried about making a good impression – what with being new here, and all – that while I was getting dressed to play I had so many fearful swing thoughts I must have worn myself out!”
The caddie just smiles…knowing exactly what the man had just put himself through. He understands, as must we who would be free, just how easy it is to bury oneself under the weight of false beliefs and the equally false set of responsibilities that come with them.
In this instance, to believe that we are only as worthwhile as others agree to see us as being burdens us with feeling that winning the good opinion of others is somehow our responsibility. Such a mistaken mindset leaves us the perennial victim of our relationships, and never the victor in them.
The only way we can be released from any painful sense of false responsibility is to see that it is based in a false belief. To see through the false belief is to be released from the weight of useless false responsibilities.
Study carefully the following list of six false beliefs and the false responsibilities that are never far away from them. Then welcome the true responsibilities they bring into the light with them. Dare to learn everything you can about your own false beliefs and then watch how the weight of false responsibilities falls off of you.
False Responsibility: You feel as if you must remain in control of everyone and everything at all times.
True Responsibility: Welcome everything that happens to you as an opportunity to see through and transcend the unconscious burden of being someone laden with any false beliefs.
False Responsibility: You’re convinced that you must do whatever it takes to win the approval of everyone you meet.
True Responsibility: Be real…Learn what it means to be in possession of yourself, starting with reclaiming your life.
False Responsibility: You must always compromise yourself to ensure the contentment of everyone else.
True Responsibility: Stay out of the lives of all those who expect you to do for them what they won’t do for themselves.
False Responsibility: You must constantly smooth over rocky situations, ensuring that no one rocks anyone’s boat enough to tip it over.
True Responsibility: See all negative states as the unconscious, dark emotions that they are, and refuse to justify them in yourself, or anyone else.
False Responsibility: Unless you worry about and suffer over your past, your tomorrows are not going to turn out right.
True Responsibility: You can be a new person right now. Let go of anything that wants to revisit and relive the past.
False Responsibility: It’s up to you to shoulder the weight of those painful thoughts and feelings that want to drag you down.
True Responsibility: See that agreeing to suffer from your own mental and emotional states makes as much sense as blaming the French fry that just burned your mouth
Let me encourage you to sit down and make your own list of false beliefs, and the legion of false responsibilities that come with them. Remember that your one true responsibility in life – the one action that will always see to your success in life – is to always be as awake and receptive to the present moment as you can be.
If we refuse to see what life is trying to show us about ourselves, then we can’t learn. If we don’t learn the truth of ourselves, then true self-knowledge becomes impossible. Without higher self-knowledge, there is no way to rise above ourselves…to reach that innermost path that alone leads to the fulfillment of our highest possibilities.
Guy Finley is the bestselling author of The Secret of Letting Go, The Courage to Be Free, and 40 other works that have sold over a million copies in 20 languages worldwide. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week.
For more information and to receive a free starter kit and free weekly inspirational messages by email, visit www.guyfinley.org.
False beliefs keep us in a state of self-sabotage. To learn more about how to put an end to these beliefs, read about our AHA Program or watch the video below.