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Welcome to the Enlighten Me Survey Rejection Attraction Quiz!

This quiz assesses how prone you are to rejection. Many of us feel chronic low self-esteem and some form of rejection on a regular basis. Further, we subconsciously set ourselves up for more of the same. Is this you?

To take this quiz, honestly answer the 12 questions below by selecting just one answer for each question. While none of the answers may perfectly match your situation, you’ll be best served by selecting the option that best fits what is true for you the majority of the time.

Remember, do not select the answer that you want to be true. Select the answer that is true.

When you finish the quiz,  click the submit button at the bottom. You’ll be immediately redirected to your results, with an explanation of what they mean.

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Questions

When a friend or colleague enjoys great success, I*

Feel genuinely impressed and happy for him/her

Openly point out that the success isn’t that impressive

Secretly feel jealous but pretend to be happy for him/her

Feel competitive and determine to one up him/her

Ignore the entire issue and avoid this person

Ask your friend or colleague for advice so that you can learn something

When I walk into a room of people, I*

Feel excited and look for a chance to jump into a conversation

Feel anxious in general (social anxiety)

Scan for people who might look better or more successful than me

I hate walking into rooms full of people, so I avoid it at all costs

Try to make myself as inconspicuous as possible so nobody will notice me

Stand back and observe, calm and curious about how people socialIze

When a friend asks a favor of me, I*

Immediately say yes without considering whether or not I can do it

Think that if I say no, they will be upset with me

Feel taken advantage of as a first response, then recover and reconsider

Agree to do it, but often don’t follow through if it is inconvenient, honestly

Consider whether or not I am willing to do it and give an honest answer

Say no if I need to, then feel guilty for not helping them out

Feel a bit defensive, as if they are imposing

When I think of what I really want in life, I *

Hear a voice in my head that says, “You can’t do it.”

Become motivated and begin to make plans or take action

Feel frustrated that I have not achieved it yet

Look for others who have achieved what I want and learn from them

Feel depressed because I know I will never get it

Become anxious and afraid of failure

Believe that the people closest to me will not approve

When I was a child, my mother:*

Was very supportive and loving

Held impossible expectations

Was never there for me, honestly

Criticized me too much

Believed that I could do anything I put my mind to

When I was a child, my father:*

Was very supportive and loving

Held impossible expectations

Criticized me too much

Was never there for me, honestly

Believed that I could do anything I put my mind to

When I complete a goal or project, I *

Move on too quickly to the next project

Feel self-conscious when speaking with others about my success

Feel like if it wasn’t perfect, then it wasn’t good enough

Can’t help but look for what I did wrong

Find a way to share my success and celebrate

Honestly don't enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done

When conversing with others I, *

Typically enjoy myself and the interaction

Put my foot in my mouth a lot

Tend to use self-deprecating humor

Am genuinely interested in the other person

Compare myself to the other alot

Tend to withhold my true feelings

Tend to tell them what they want to hear

My self-esteem is:*

A wild roller coaster ride

Non-existent. I feel worthless

On the way up, hopefully

Very good, even though my life is not perfect

Low

When it comes to needing approval from others:*

I totally don't care what others think of me

I try to get approval, but rarely succeed

Getting approval is a hopeless cause for me

I do need the approval of key people in my life

I get anxious that people will disapprove

I like it when people approve of me

I crave approval, honestly

When I phone or text a friend and they don't respond, I *

Think they must be upset with me

Doubt how important I am to that person

Feel preoccupied or even mildly obsessed about it until they call

Just stop thinking about it and move on

Naturally assume they are busy, but will respond when they can

My inner voice:*

Criticizes me on a regular basis

Compares my performance to others

Reminds me of a critical parent

Seems to be demanding perfection

Warns me of potential mistakes in a calm fashion

Is supportive, encouraging and friendly

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Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP trainer, and practicing life coach. He and his wife, Hope, co-founded iNLP Center in 2011.

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