Working with people toward overcoming perfectionism, I notice their personality types don’t accurately reflect their authentic self. Instead, they measure themselves by what they believe they should be or could be, rather than who they actually are.
When you are truly honest with yourself, how often do you show up either at work, in a social gathering, or even with your family and act as if you have it all perfectly together when in truth you don’t?
Exhausting, right?
You are not alone in this world if you putt on a mask of perfection from time to time but the implications of striving for perfection have a negative effect on your well-being. How often do you consider this?
Consider taking off your mask of perfection and reveal the true you. And this is why:
Being human is beautifully imperfect. When you are trying to be perfect, you are in fact going well beyond the desire to achieve good or even great results. Striving for the impossible is only increasing stress and lowering self-esteem, leaving you feeling anxious and never feeling good enough.
It’s a heavyweight responsibility to be carrying around. Actually, it’s a recipe for failure. So why keep up the struggle? Most likely, your perfectionist part shows up in areas where you feel the most vulnerable. Afraid to appear weak, you hold a belief that if you live a perfect life, you’ll be OK. In truth, when you choose to show up as your authentic self, flaws and all, you discover that you do not have to hide.
Sharing your vulnerabilities offers you the opportunity to develop strength, character, and compassion, as well as create more meaningful relationships. Take a moment, close your eyes and imagine how your life would be if you decided to take off your perfectionist mask. Consider how this would feel to show up each day in every area of your life feeling comfortable in your own skin, freely expressing your truth.
Being authentic is your doorway to freedom. Your stress reduces, your self-esteem increases and the pure quality of your relationship with self and others is greatly improved. As a bonus, you experience far more gratitude and happiness.
Time needed: 30 minutes
5 Essential Steps to Overcome Perfectionism
There has never been a better time than now to stop self-criticism in exchange for a celebration of who you are! Discover the beauty and the freedom that emerges when you courageously step out and allow the true you to be seen.
To help you shift from the drive to achieve the unachievable and move toward opportunities for growing a deeper connection with yourself, here are five necessary steps.
Before you can change any behavior, you first need to acknowledge that it is a problem. You need to understand and accept it’s having a painful impact on both you and your relationships. Coming to the acceptance that you’ve been creating a persona that looks good to others but has been hiding your true internal experience is a huge step in the right direction.
The path to change is uncomfortable. This can be challenging as your likely not accustomed to actually dealing with discomfort, only hiding from it. Vulnerability is uncomfortable and can be scary, but it’s necessary.
Beliefs and rules that may have kept you safe and secure as a child but no longer serve you as an adult will be questioned. Learning even that they may very well have been holding you back in life.
Perfectionism begins during childhood years, through encountering painful experiences that created the need to avoid or deny painful feelings. Connecting with your inner child helps gently bring these repressed emotions to the surface.
Gaining insights is very helpful to create change. You to see patterns and connect the dots. True transformation however comes when you begin to see changes in your behavior, in what you do and say, and in how you begin to show up and allow others to see you. You begin to experience the true power of vulnerability, and no longer feel trapped by your past. Instead, you look forward to greater self-acceptance.
Becoming authentic is a process of learning, understanding and knowing yourself, personality traits, behaviors, values, beliefs, needs, goals and motives. It asks you to be courageous, to acknowledge your limitations, and to embrace your own vulnerability.
Seek – begin to learn about yourself and know how different parts of you make you, well you. Connect with your core self, your inner child, and discover different parts of you, their role, purpose, and wounding.
Heal – begin to rewire your brain as you process your thoughts and feelings. Raise awareness, understanding and bring acceptance in to help the different parts of you to move out of the past and reintegrate into the present.
Transform – I’ll help you to incorporate new behaviors and habits that support self-realization, deepen spirituality, and allow you to break free from limiting beliefs and pursue goals that are aligned with your truth.
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