Think of your top goal in life right now. Stop reading until you’re holding it firmly in mind. Otherwise, you may miss the point.
Now, here is the all important question that determines your success or failure when working toward this goal.
How free are you – on the inside – to pursue and accomplish and succeed?
In other words, are you 100% inwardly aligned to reach your goal? If you are, then you are excited, motivated and free to feel your passion for success.
This is the NLP principle of congruence. It’s all about alignment. Like the tires on your car; if they are pointed in different directions, you’re going to have problems, wear out, and ultimately fail.
If you are not aligned on the inside, then you are conflicted about your goal. This means that some part of you opposes what you intend to do. It wants to go in the opposite direction! This will result in self-sabotage. Say goodbye to your goal.
It’s important to know if you are conflicted! Don’t ignore the signs. That’s the worst thing you could do.
How to Know if You are Conflicted
Think about your goal and what you need to do to make it happen. Now, notice:
Do you feel any tension in your body? (In your throat, shoulders, chest or belly, for example).
Do you hear any negative voices in your mind, saying things like: You can’t do it. It’s a waste of time. You’re not worthy, etc…
Do you feel numb, empty or not as excited as you need to be?
Do you feel fear or dread?
These are all signs of inner conflict in relation to your goal. Some part of you is not aligned with your purpose here. If you attempt to move ahead without resolving the issue, then your risk of failure is much higher.
Here’s an effective formula for achieving important goals:
1. Set an effective, well-designed goal. (Outcome Specification, NLP Practitioner Training, Module 9)