In reality, they have a little devil on one shoulder and a little devil disguised as an angel on the other.
These two little devils aren’t cute. They mean business. Their business is to ruin your life and cause premature death. Their names are self-sabotage and inner passivity. Let’s call them Sophie and Ivy.
She often comes disguised as something attractive, such as an ice cream sundae or a day on the couch. Yet, Sophie’s real intention is to set you up. What is she setting you up for? At best, self-criticism, disappointment, low self-esteem and failure. At worst, premature death.
The lure of alcohol, laziness, potato chips and candy – these are Sophie’s tools of the trade. Of course, she doesn’t limit herself to these. She will use anything and everything to get you to screw up your life.
When you are in hot pursuit of your goal, she will encourage you to give up – for no reason other than things are going well.
When you feel down, she will tell you that you deserve it, hoping you will feel worse.
When someone betrays you, she will make it your fault.
When you are trying to give up an addiction, she will make it appear more pleasurable than ever.
When you have a problem, she will encourage you to react in the worst way so that the problem worsens.
Sophie is serious about making your life miserable.
At first glance, Ivy seems innocent, like a helpless little angel. She isn’t. Inner passivity is the experience that something is being done to you and that you are helpless against it. This is a lie. Ivy is a liar and in cahoots with Sophie!
If a tornado were to suddenly sprout in front of you, pick you up and carry you off, then you could call yourself a passive victim.
You are not a passive victim to potato chips.
If you are stopped at a light and another car rear ends you, you can call yourself the passive victim of an automobile accident. You did nothing. You were hit.
You are not a passive victim to your inner critical voice.
Ivy wants you to believe that you have no power over Sophie. This is because Ivy is Sophie’s twin sister and they are working together.
A lot of people attempt to mediate the conflict between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. They don’t realize that this is often a complete waste of time, as these two are hopelessly connected.
But doesn’t the angel want good things? No. Ivy is not an angel. She is a figment of your imagination that blames the devil (making you a passive victim) for her problems. This is not helpful. It only supports the perpetual self-sabotage/inner passivity relationship within your psyche.
When you really get that Ivy is a little devil trying to ruin your life, then something magical happens. You begin to wake up to your own power. You begin to realize that YOU are in charge.
Are you tired of inner passivity – the feeling that you are powerless to live the life that you want? Have you had enough of the feeling that you are not in charge of your own behavior? Is it time to kick Sophie and Ivy out of your psyche?
1. Recognize this dynamic as a set up. Really see it for what it is. What good has it done you to have Sophie whispering in one ear and Ivy in the other?
2. Decide to take control. This decision has nothing to do with Sophie or Ivy. It’s all about YOU. It’s a decision related to your growing personal maturity. Deciding to be in charge of your own mind doesn’t mean you are 100% able to right now, but that you are determined to be.
3. Learn all about Sophie and Ivy. Learn how they work; how they disguise themselves and set you up for disappointment again and again. This is what the AHA Solution is all about. Of course, there are no characters called Sophie and Ivy in the AHA Solution. This program is pure education about how why we do what we do to sabotage our desires for happiness and how to end the unfortunate but pervasive practice of self-sabotage.
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