Personal Development

Why Am I NEVER Satisfied? 10 Insights for a Happy and Satisfied Life

To understand “Why Am I Never Satisfied” one must gain insights into the actions and philosophies that will help take their life towards satisfaction and fulfillment and bring meaning to their life while ridding them of the constant sense of...  

How to Lose Weight WITHOUT Counting Calories

Counting calories is not a long-term solution for weight loss. Nowadays, we all know what to eat, what hurts, and what is healthy and what isn’t, so the problem is not education but rather the fact that despite having so...  

Help with Grief: How to Get It & Why You Need It

Grief is a tough subject. Many individuals are not aware of when they are experiencing it. Even if they are aware, how might they find someone to help process their suffering? Dealing with grief and finding a resource way to...  

I Feel Overwhelmed! 7 Ways to Get Relief Right Now

Are you struggling right now and barely keeping your head above water due to feeling overwhelmed? Are you stuck in patterns that don’t serve you but don’t know what to do about it? Do you lack the clarity to move...  

Is Unresolved Grief in the Way of Your Happiness?

Do you have unresolved grief in your life? How can you tell if you do? If so, what can you do about it? These are some interesting questions that many times go unanswered. If your unresolved grief is not acknowledged,...  

The Warning Signs of Stress: How to Notice Yours

Our bodies communicate to us when things are getting off balance and experiencing stress. We each have our “weak” areas that function as a protective element. Our personal warning signs of stress turn on when things are taking a downturn....  

Stages of Grieving: Take the Steps to a Resourceful Life

Most people think, when faced with an incredible loss, they just have to hunker down and get through the pain and suffering. For the most part it’s true. However, the grieving process can be a great opportunity for growth. You...  

Using NLP Techniques to Reduce Anxiety Before Medical Procedures

A cancer diagnosis, surgery, and dental procedures can cause different levels of anxiety. Being prepared with NLP techniques will help with the stress of routine or unexpected procedures. The NLP techniques of association, dissociation, reframing, anchoring, and using submodalities  helped...  

The Overlooked Foundation of Fulfilling Relationships

It’s easy to fall in love. Too easy. Our biochemicals make it such that we can fall head over heels, get physical and feel attached to someone who is a virtual stranger. Commitments are made. Lives are rearranged. And then...  

Lack of Motivation? Here are Seven Causes and Seven Cures

Lack of motivation may be in the top three problems life coaches encounter with their clients. It’s so common! Does lack of motivation – or no motivation – prevent you from doing what you want? Most lack of motivation comes...  

Self-Sabotaging | Why You Avoid Happiness at all Costs

This article offers a unique perspective on self-sabotaging thoughts and behavior. Are you ready for the twisted truth about self-sabotage? Read on if you dare.  Despite extensive experience with Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching, for over 30 years I wondered why I...  

The Four Cornerstones of High Self-Confidence

Would you like to possess overflowing self-confidence? Self-confidence gives you the solid sense of certainty you need to make the right decisions, take positive action, and provide leadership or support to others. You can, regardless of what you have tried...  

Trapped by your Mind? Learn This Five Step Process for Releasing Limiting Beliefs

If this scenario doesn’t portray the effects of limiting beliefs, nothing does. Imagine that you are driving down a country road. Suddenly, the road comes to a “T” – a three-way intersection that requires you to turn left or right....  

How Do You Make Yourself Anxious?

This is a guest post from Duff McDuffee, an NLP trainer with the iNLP Center. The amount of new technology that has come about in the past 30 years is astounding. As a result, our lives have changed dramatically. Yet...  

Self Awareness Test – Discover Your Hidden Opportunity for Growth and Success

Self Awareness Test submission count updated: 9/1/2018 Welcome! The iNLP Center self awareness test is on this page. You’ll get your results once you hit the submit button. No email or obligation is required. You can scroll down to the quiz...  

Establishing the Coaching Agreement- An ICF Core Competency

The ICF core competency Establishing the Coaching Agreement is first on the list of the 11 core competencies after ethics. It falls under the category of Setting the Foundation. Establishing the coaching agreement, as long as you’re an ethical coach,...  

Tips for Getting Comfortable Outside Your Career Comfort Zone

In this post let’s cover some tips for comfortably stepping out of your comfort zone in three career areas: Interviews, business pitches, and promotions. Enjoy! And don’t forget to check out the cool infographic at the bottom of the page! The...  

Controlling People: Nine Subtle Ways You Give Others Too Much Power

Controlling people. Are you sick of everyone trying to control you? It’s easy to get sick of controlling people. They think they know what’s best for you. They feel like they need to approve of every decision you make. They...  

NLP Anchoring: 5 Steps to Make it Work for You

NLP anchoring is such a cool and simple tool. Based on the work of Nobel Prize-winning psychologist Ivan Pavlov, basic NLP anchoring is done by pairing physical touch with a feeling or behavior you want to have at your disposal....  

An Up-to-Date Overview of NLP Timeline Technique ~ Here’s How it Can Change your Life

NLP timeline refers to the way you organize the concept of time on the inside. Everyone needs a way to differentiate among the personal past, present, and future. Otherwise, you’d have no way of knowing if that romantic walk on the...  

How to Get Sh*t Done | Seven Uncommon Tips from Erin Falconer: Queen of Productivity

Erin Falconer – the online sensation from PicktheBrain.com, isn’t living the life her parents had planned for her. Mom and dad intended their smart and talented daughter to become an attorney. After acing the LSAT in preparation for law school,...  

Subconscious Mind | 9 Facts You Should Know [plus FREE WORKBOOK]

In this post, your subconscious mind is going to reach up and give you a cold, refreshing slap in the face. The results could be dramatic, especially when you use the free workbook (right here or at the bottom of...  

10 Life-Shaping Interpersonal Skills from Epic Movies

When Chris Gardner showed up to the job interview of his life looking homeless with dried paint in his hair, interpersonal skills were his only hope. Fresh out of jail, sitting in front of the hiring board at Dean Witter,...  

Overcoming Obstacles in Life | A Very Effective 4-Step Process

Overcoming Obstacles in Life with NLP: Overview of 4-Step Process This four-step process for identifying and overcoming obstacles that can be readily dealt with using NLP tools, as well overcoming obstacles that are external – real-world limitations. Example: I need...  

Hypnosis for Weight Loss Script + FREE MP3

NEW: Check out iNLP Center’s new Hypnotherapy Training. This post is hypnosis weight loss script I wrote for clients to help you pursue weight loss with all your heart and end self-sabotage. The text is below in italics. You’ll also...  

Hypnosis for Weight Loss | The Ultimate Guide (Plus FREE Weight Loss .mp3)

NEW: Check out iNLP Center’s new Hypnotherapy Training. Hypnosis for weight loss. It’s a viable option for several reasons: • Hypnosis has a proven track record for weight loss (see references below). • Hypnosis for weight loss is widely accessible....  

How to Increase Willpower? Use These 3 NLP Tips

Want to know how to increase willpower? This post will cover what willpower is and how to increase willpower systematically. If you apply these three NLP tips consistently, you’ll find your motivation and willpower increasing a little more each day....  

Relationship Killers : Avoid These Four Everyday Words

Building strong relationships with others is essential in all areas of our lives: business, friendships, dating, parenting, etc. However, our daily word choices can undermine our attempts at getting closer to other people. We can unwittingly be marking ourselves as untrustworthy,...  

Feeling Rejected? Take the Opportunity to Feel Good

Are you feeling rejected and not willing to accept each opportunity to feel good? If you’re in a rut of feeling bad, the prospect of feeling good all the time might be intimidating. So intimidating, in fact, that you might...  

How to Feel Good All Day – Use this Simple To-Do List Formula

Want to feel good all day? This simple to-do list formula can keep you feeling good all day. It’s a fact, when you accomplish tasks, you feel good. But, sometimes you just can’t get that task accomplished. Often, it’s not...  

Conflict Resolution Strategies : Don’t Get Sucked into an Argument

Arguments are stressful but happen. Learning conflict resolution strategies is important to turning verbal conflict into productive communication. In theory, every single argument in life can be completely avoided. You do not need to get sucked in. You don’t need...  

Change Your Thinking: The Alternate Futures Self-Motivation Exercise

Change your thinking by creating alternate futures for yourself. This simple exercise, using an NLP motivation strategy, can lead to greater motivation in the present. Much of what we need to do requires intentionally motivating ourselves. The rewards of life...  

How to Stop Self-Critical Thoughts with this NLP Mindset

Are your self-critical voices running your life? Learn how to develop the mindset to stop the behavior now. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing. If you tend to be self-critical of yourself, even the best day...  

How to Stop Making Bad Choices using NLP’s VAK Technique

Why is it that we sometimes make good decisions and sometimes bad decisions? Impulsiveness? Impatience? Pressure? Read this article to learn how to stop making bad choices from now. Analyzing and understanding the differences in our decision making process can...  

How to Challenge your Unconscious Decisions and Transform Bad Habits

Classic NLP decision strategies are part of NLP practitioner training. First thing in the morning, I get up and make a pot of coffee. No biggie. It’s just a routine. And I’m certainly glad I don’t need to reevaluate morning...  

How to See the True Nature of Things

Have you ever met two people who went through the same experience, at the same time, with the same circumstances, but saw the experiences in completely different ways? This is not on the experience level only. This difference in the...  

Three Benefits that Come from Exploring your Dark Side

I guess we’re all two people. One daylight, and the one we keep in shadow. — Bruce Wayne/Batman Disclaimer: This article is my opinion about exploring the dark side of your personality. No scientific claim is being made. If you’re...  

Why Your Mind Turns Against You and How to Rescue Yourself

So there you are, rowing along in the sea of life, seeking out your little island paradise where you can find happiness. How’s it going? If you’re struggling, it could be because your mind has turned against you. A part...  

Mindfulness for Chronic Pain – Read What Works

Want to Practice Mindfulness for Chronic Pain? The good news about mindfulness for chronic pain never seems to end. Scientists have now found out that it is a good way to reduce chronic pain. Mindfulness is an ancient practice originating...  

How to Use the NLP Reframing Technique to Handle Disappointment

Can you use NLP to handle disappointment? Of course. The method that comes to mind is the NLP reframing technique. We teach the reframing technique in module 11 of our online NLP practitioner certification training. At the heart of reframing...  

Three Mindfulness Techniques You Can Use Right Now

Mindfulness techniques have found new ground in consumerist societies and as a result, people are learning to be consciously in the moment, often for the first time in their lives. The truth of the matter is that mindfulness techniques have...  

How an Original Feeling Becomes a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

If you have negative feelings you can’t ‘get rid of’ you’ll find an unlikely explanation for them in this post, if you read it carefully. Left alone, they can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Most of us confuse cause and...  

The Emotions Behind Procrastination: Five Scenarios You Should Understand if you Want to Get Things DONE

With all the productivity tips online today, you’d think anyone could make procrastination a thing of the past. This post will explore why those tips fail. Chronic procrastination often has roots in emotional life. We’ll discuss these roots and how...  

Overcome the Two Primary Obstacles in Life with the Following Formula

There are two kinds of obstacles that prevent success. 1. External obstacles can stand in the way of success. 2. Internal obstacles can sabotage success. In this short post, we’ll give you the formula for handling both of them. The...  

Got Goals? You’ll Want to Apply This Simple NLP Success Principle

Think of your top goal in life right now. Stop reading until you’re holding it firmly in mind. Otherwise, you may miss the point. Now, here is the all important question that determines your success or failure when working toward...  

Freedom from the Past: 7 Steps to Heal Your Hidden Childhood Programming

Sometimes I wish there were a guaranteed way to filter every negative message as perceived in childhood. If I could do that, I’d wipe the slate clean! The memories might remain, but the negative messages from those memories would magically...  

The Secret to Succeeding Where You’ve Always Failed

There is probably an important goal you’d like to meet…one that has been difficult to pull off. You’re capable of getting there. However, if you’re struggling with follow through, this post will tell you why and what to do about...  

How to Make Changes that Seem Impossible Right Now

Sometimes we want change that feels impossible. Losing weight, making lots of money, feeling confident, being at peace, changing a relationship…can seem out of reach. When you’ve been a certain way for a long time, other options feel unrealistic, right?...  

How to Desire Change Deeply Enough

The first principle of success is desire. – Robert Collier If you’ve come to this post, chances are that you want to change some aspect of yourself. The question is, how deeply do you want change? Let’s take this brief...  

How To Wake Up and Let Go of Lingering, Annoying, Oppressive Thoughts (A Detailed Guide)

Oppression – the state of being subject to unjust treatment or control. We’re used to hearing about oppressive governments, but what about the oppressive feeling that circumstances in general dictate your life? Forced submission. Most of us might not consciously...  

5 Ways Adults Behave Like Spoiled Toddlers (And Why)

Driving my teenage daughters to school this morning, I was pissed. Traffic was slow. Then, we got stuck behind a school bus. I pounded the steering wheel. “Ah, man! Why did people have to let that bus in!” Noticing my...  

Paradigm Shift Clearly Explained: Prepare for a Big AHA Moment!

Why do we need a reliable way to create a personal paradigm shift? Because on the whole we’re going about solving persistent personal problems the wrong way. Typical solutions to average problems usually create more average problems. This is because...  

20 Signs You Are Getting In Your Own Way

The most interesting part of getting in our own way is how blind we are when doing it. Think about it. Who really wants to get in their own way? When you can see obstacles, you can avoid them. So,...  

The Elusive Positive Attitude: Why You Just Can’t Hold Onto It

If you’ve come here in search of tidy tips on how to have a positive attitude, you’re in for a shock. A lack of positive attitude tips is NOT the problem. Most of us know more positive attitude advice than...  

What to Do (and NOT Do) to Get Others to Change

It’s one of the first things NLP practitioners screen for… When someone desires a specific outcome, make sure that he or she is in control of it. If the desired outcome requires someone else to change, then the outcome itself...  

Maybe You’re Looking for Trouble (Like I Was)

I didn’t realize it at the time, but a mentor once made sense of my entire life. I was complaining. My wife wouldn’t cooperate and was making my life a living hell. My job wasn’t going well because the system was...  

Four Ways to Empower Yourself with Non-Verbal Communication

I’m not here to tell you that non-verbal communication is more influential than verbal communication. You already know that, right? Yet, how can you harness the power of non-verbal communication without spending years studying it? You’ll have four great ideas...  

Visualize Success and your Performance Improves? The Truth

Can you visualize success as a way to improve your performance in life? Research now says yes. And, the success runs deeper than you might think. Interestingly, the more I review the literature, the more I find examples of decades...  

Shrink Even the Most Annoying Person Down to Size

Super annoying people. Most of us have them in our lives – or run into them from time to time. If you’ve got an ‘annoyer’ in your life, here’s a totally harmless way to shrink that person down to size....  

Key to Personal Popularity Discovered

Researchers from the University of Queensland, Australia have uncovered a key to great relationships and personal popularity. It’s the ability to take another’s point of view. In NLP, we call it, “going second position.” The research, which appears in the...  

Let your Kids Squirm: It’s Important

I remember sitting in church as a child, bored to tears. And, for the life of me, I couldn’t sit still. If the church and my mother had only understood that I needed to squirm to learn, a lot more...  

These Two Perspectives Will Help You Suck the Juice Out of Life

You can intentionally use two distinct perspectives to skyrocket your happiness and minimize your angst on a day-to-day basis. In NLP, we call these perspectives Associated and Dissociated. Learning what these are and how to use them can turn your...  

This Simple Shift in Perspective Melts Your Worries

Imagine this bizarre scenario: You suddenly lose your ability to worry about anything in the future. . Time to celebrate? Not exactly. If you couldn’t worry about anything, you would absolutely tend to cross streets without looking! Worry can be...  

Simple Experiment Reveals Secret to Happiness

If you miss this short video, you’re missing out on one of the greatest secrets to happiness. You’ll get it in the first 30 seconds. Then, watch the experiment unfold until you get to the climactic results. Go ahead….  ...  

I’m In A Healthy Relationship and I Hate It

Recently I received the following note from a reader: So the story about the woman who was in the marriage for 13 years and she hated her husband and realized she was secretly into rejection…Yeah, I get that. But I...  

How Other People and Outside Objects Control Your Thoughts (and what to do about it)

Your thoughts are separate from the outside world, right? I’ve always assumed this to be the case, although I cannot tell you why I’ve assumed it. At any rate, it’s very interesting that a recent study conducted by researchers at...  

27 Lies I Tell Myself That Block Happiness

I feel happy a lot of the time. But when I get stuck feeling bad, I typically find twisted logic pinging around in my brain. This twisted logic keeps me invested in hanging onto the bad feelings. In other words,...  

Punch Failure in the Face: Here’s How

Do you want to eliminate all obstacles in the way of your goals? You can. I’m going to show you how, right here and now. In fact, you’re going to punch failure right in the face and knock it out....  

Stop Rejecting Opportunity to Feel Good: 5 Steps to Embrace Your Best Self

If you’re in a rut of feeling bad, the prospect of feeling great much of the time might be intimidating. So intimidating, in fact, that you might very well avoid positive feelings altogether. One study published in Journal of Psychosomatic...  

Your Personal Paradigm is the Problem: Here are 5 Signs that it Holds You Back

 Mike Bundrant is a retired mental health counselor, practicing personal coach, co-founder of the iNLP Center, co-author of the AHA Solution for self-sabotage, and author of Your Achilles Eel. People do self-sabotaging things all the time, but these behaviors aren’t...  

I Hate People! Nine Ways to Let Go and Start Living

I hate people, therefore I hate myself. -Anonymous It never occurred to me that you can globally hate people until my high school buddy showed me the ropes. We were standing on the side of my house shooting the bull...  

17 Hard Truths Only the Enlightened Understand

I won’t pull punches here because I know the following applies to me, too. Enlightenment isn’t all love and light. It’s not for wimps. Enlightenment embraces the truth. And the truth isn’t always pretty. If you are seeking personal enlightenment,...  

5-Day Willpower Boot Camp

The information on this page will help you develop unstoppable willpower. You’ll find it is MUCH easier than you imagined! We will also invite you to participate in our 5-Day Willpower Boot Camp – free of charge – In the...  

5 Ways to Reclaim Your Lost Positive Emotions

If you believe that negative emotions are the only ones people avoid, consider the following. A psychological study recently confirmed that depression is not caused by the simple presence of a negative state of mind. There is another huge, overlooked...  

Top 5 Self-Sabotaging Habits to Quit Right Now

More than 150 people and counting have taken at least one of our new email coaching programs. Hope and I have learned a lot about the self-sabotaging habits that people tend to struggle with. I’d like to share the top...  

20 Ways You Might Be Punishing Yourself

Many issues we face would make much more sense if we considered them self-punishment. At least we’d be starting from a practical place. Instead, most of us try solve problems by complaining. Then we play an endless, neurotic game of...  

Three Hopeful Truths to Remember When Dealing with Negative Thoughts

So you’re sitting with a friend – let’s call her Sally – over lunch. Nice day. The two of you are having a ball munching a delicious meal, sipping your favorite beverage and discussing frivolous things. Life is good. Then,...  

Three NLP Tools To Get You Unstuck

  NLP tools can get you unstuck quickly and effectively. Specifically, use NLP tools to change your state when you need to. In NLP, “state” refers to a person’s subjective experience of self and the world at any point in...  

How to Be Happy: The One Gigantic Happiness Realization and a 5-Step Process to Apply It

To learn how to be happy consistently, at some point in life all of us need realize one key thing: The obstacles to happiness are on the inside, not the outside. The big question for those learning how to be...  

3 Life Skills that will Get you Through (Almost) Anything

The life skills in this post will get you through any difficulty…almost any. If it is indeed your time to die, none of the following skills will help. As long as you’re still above ground, one or more of following...  

Stress Symptoms & the Common Mental Habit that Causes Them

Stuff goes wrong. That’s just part of life. The question is, what are you doing to increase the onslaught of stress symptoms that accompanies it? The simple mental habit mentioned below has been shown to create the following stress symptoms:...  

Brain’s Remarkable Response to Two Types of Meditation

According to a 2007 survey completed by the United States government, almost 10% of the American population confirmed that they had been engaged in meditation during the past twelve months. Given such a high volume of practice, scientists have taken...  

Scientists Catching On to the Idea that Modifying Memories is a Key to Mental Health

Neuroscientists are becoming hip to the idea that if you change your perception of a significant memory, you change your present day feeling and behavior. This is something that NLP practitioners have known through experience decades, so it’s nice to...  

4 Reasons Why Your Man Doesn’t Appreciate You

Are you suffering from lack of appreciation from your man? If so, you may find the following perspective on men to be very enlightening. It might even spur you into action to get the appreciation you deserve. It’s part of...  

Shining Light On Rejection: What We’ve Discovered from Over 1000 Responses to Our Rejection Attraction Quiz

Since we launched our Rejection Attraction Quiz, 1200 people have taken it. So, THANK YOU to all who took the quiz. By the way, if you haven’t taken it and want to, you can take the Rejection Attraction Quiz here....  

Rejection Attraction Quiz

Welcome to the Enlighten Me Survey Rejection Attraction Quiz! This quiz assesses how prone you are to rejection. Many of us feel chronic low self-esteem and some form of rejection on a regular basis. Further, we subconsciously set ourselves up...  

Attachment to Rejection: A Psychological Syndrome

Note: This page is a work in progress. As our understanding of the Rejection Attachment develops, the information here will be updated. The information below is not intended to diagnose or treat any mental health condition and is to be...  

Three Things NOT to Say To Yourself Unless They Are True

Mike Bundrant is a retired mental health counselor, practicing personal coach, co-founder of the iNLP Center, co-author of the AHA Solution  and author of Your Achilles Eel. Negative self-talk is one of the most popular forms of self-torture. To one...  

NLP Action Video: Moving the Unconscious Obstacle in the Way of Motivation

Today Hope and I decided to something cool and different. We thought you’d enjoying seeing some classic NLP demonstrated. So, we made an “action video” for you. In this new video, I work as a classic NLP practitioner with Hope,...  

10 Things Smart Mid-Lifers Must Do To Find Lasting Happiness

Mike Bundrant is a retired mental health counselor, personal coach and blogger for some of the top health, mental health and personal development websites in the world. You’re at midlife – and you’ve got challenges. You’re busy making a living,...  

Three Delusions that Lead to Chronic Arguing, High Stress and Early Death

Arguing is a normal part of any close relationship, right? Yet, when you consider the delusions that lead to arguments and the proven detriment to your health, you may begin to reconsider just how “normal” all those arguments really are....  

Disarm your Inner Critic with these Simple Steps

This is a VERY short video with a super effective technique for handing your inner critic. The technique is RARE, so you’ve most likely NEVER heard of it before. Better yet: It works! If you like this video, you’ll LOVE...  

No Good YES without a lot of NO

If you’re like me, you have a few things in life that you love to do and do very well. You also have heartfelt obligations toward others and passions that you need to say YES to. Then there all the...  

I Hate My Life! A Story of Deep Transformation

Great leaders possess a strong sense of personal responsibility for their lives, their actions, and their word. You cannot lead anyone (much less yourself) when you hate your life. For most of us, hating life is a victim stance with which...  

The Hidden Obstacle to Becoming Naturally Assertive

What would happen in your life if you were more assertive when you need to be? For most people who lack assertiveness, miracles would happen. You’d be able to speak up and get what you need from others. You’d be...  

NLP Mini Course: How to Be Optimistic Today

In NLP, the term “state” refers to how you experience yourself and the world at any given moment in time. Your state changes constantly – food, oxygen, internal and external stimuli play a role. In NLP jargon, a psychological state...  

Research: Why Some Women Work Too Hard and Give Too Much

If you are a hard working woman who gives and gives, yet still feels less than, you are not alone. The research summarized below describes women with “low self-esteem” who work extra hard to maintain their marriages because they don’t...  

Freedom Writers: An Exclusive Interview with Erin Gruwell

Erin Gruwell interview conducted by Mike Bundrant. Orriginally published in Healthy Times Newspaper. I thought it was just another movie involving tough kids and a dedicated teacher.  Perhaps I am jaded, but it wasn’t on the top of my list...  

Amazing Research Reveals These 3 Tips to Increase your Personal Power

Ever feel frustrated, constricted, trapped or powerless? Most of us know how these emotional states inhibit us psychologically, but that’s not the whole story. Feeling emotionally powerless also makes you physically weaker, according to science. Read the research summary below....  

How to Be an Example for your Kids while Struggling with your Own Issues

A lot of us parents think we need to project an image of perfection to our kids. No, we aren’t struggling. No, we don’t argue with our spouse. And, of course, we aren’t filled with anxiety! Everything is fine. We...  

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