If you’re like me, you have a few things in life that you love to do and do very well. You also have heartfelt obligations toward others and passions that you need to say YES to.
Then there all the things that you say YES to that you have no business saying YES to (if you want be happy and do your YESES really well).
This is where NO works it’s magic.
Imagine saying the following to yourself and others:
No, I can’t go to the party. No, I can’t help edit your book. No, I’m not interested in speaking at your event. No, I’m not interested in dating you. No, I can’t talk right now. No, I can’t be a volunteer. No, I’m not going to drive you to the mall right now.
Why? Because there are some very important YESES that need my undivided attention. And I need to do them extremely well. I need to focus on what’s important.
Am I selfish?
No. I have limitations. I can only do so much. Given that, I want to do the relatively few things I CAN do really, really well. I want to be free to put in my best effort. I want to make an outstanding contribution in my areas of influence, need and expertise.
When I say YES to more than I can do well, I can’t give anything my best effort. I stress out. My health suffers. I feel like a victim. My quality of life (and that of those close to me) decreases.
And I won’t live as long. Ultimately, saying NO means I’ll live longer, accomplish more, enjoy life and help a lot more people.
Mike Bundrant is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP trainer, and practicing life coach. He and his wife, Hope, founded iNLP Center in 2011. For information on coaching with Mike, please visit his coaching website AHA System.