These Two Perspectives Will Help You Suck the Juice Out of Life

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You can intentionally use two distinct perspectives to skyrocket your happiness and minimize your angst on a day-to-day basis.

In NLP, we call these perspectives Associated and Dissociated. Learning what these are and how to use them can turn your mental and emotional life around quickly. Best of all, they are so simple to learn!

Associated means that you are emotionally connected to what’s going on around you. When good things happen, you feel it. When bad things happen, you feel those, too. When you are associated, you are immersed in the sight, sound and feeling of what’s going on. Being associated can be a real roller coaster ride.

Dissociated means that you are observing. You’ve seen people in this state. If you’ve been to a rock concert, a football game or a party, you’ve seen those who don’t get caught up in the hubbub. They aren’t laughing or cheering. They don’t get swept away by the emotion of it all. They look like investigative journalists on assignment.

Here’s the key:

You are capable of both associating and dissociating. Knowing what to do when is the key to sucking the juice out of life and leaving bad mojo behind.

First, some clues about how to associate and dissociate:

To associate:

• Consciously feel your feelings.
• Connect with others. Take their point of view.
• Allow yourself to get emotionally involved.
• Express your experience.

To dissociate:

• Pretend you are a neutral party.
• Look at the big picture.
• Imagine you are an alien sent to earth to observe.
• Approach situations like a journalist.

The magic happens in the application.

Here are a couple of guidelines to try out:

1. Associate when good things are happening.

2. Dissociate when bad things are happening (don’t pretend they aren’t happening. Change to the dissociated perspective).

It’s that simple. So, here’s your homework. Try using these two perspectives intentionally for a day – just one day. It will make a difference!

Here’s how one iNLP student used association to suck more juice out of life!

So, knowing that I have limited truly happy memories to draw on I guess I should set about allowing myself to feel really good about the great things in my life now. I am learning that being in an associative state can greatly enhance my day-to-day experiences.

Yesterday, while walking along a pathway with woodland to my right and seascape to my left, I consciously drank in the colors, the sounds and the feelings they evoked. Today, that memory is more vivid than it might have been if I had remained in the semi-disconnected state that seems to be my default.

Here’s the $64,000 question:

Are you willing to make this small effort to drastically improve your day (assuming your day could stand some improvement)? If not, then please look into self-sabotage. When there is an opportunity to feel  better and you don’t take it, then you’re getting in your own way. Watch this free and enlightening video to discover the simple yet insidious nature of self-sabotage and its solution.

Additionally, if you enjoyed this NLP lesson on Association/Dissociation you would also enjoy our life coach training where you can learn many techniques and modalities to help you grow in your awareness of yourself and others. Read more about it here.

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About Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP trainer, and practicing life coach. He and his wife, Hope, founded iNLP Center in 2011. For information on coaching with Mike, please visit his coaching website AHA System.

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