Arguments are stressful but happen. Learning conflict resolution strategies is important to turning verbal conflict into productive communication.
In theory, every single argument in life can be completely avoided. You do not need to get sucked in. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. In fact, you’d be better of not trying to win most arguments.
If I’d lived my life according to this theory, I’d consider myself something special. But, I’ve been sucked into so many arguments that I’ll never remember them all.
Lately, however, I’ve had some wonderful successes avoiding arguments and resolving interpersonal issues. I’m here to tell you that it’s worth it! And here are some tips to put more argument avoidance successes under your belt. (That is, if you actually don’t want to get into arguments.)
The number one reason why people get drawn into arguments (in my opinion) is that we do not have any other intention. Without the intention to resolve problems peaceably, you’re in self-sabotage territory.
As you may or may not know from the AHA Solution, or Your Achilles Eel (yes, “eel”), self-sabotage is part of human nature. It’s something that we often naturally seek, if we don’t consciously intend otherwise.
So there you are minding your own business. Your husband, wife, partner, child, friend, neighbor or associate suddenly shows up. They don’t have good news. They have news that reflects poorly on you.
You feel the heat. You feel your defenses rising. And you go off. Quickly, you’re embroiled in an argument that will not end well. In fact, your argument probably proves their case against you.
Start with an intention – a goal – to settle every conflict peacefully today. You can do it. Stay calm. Let people have their say. Correct misconceptions. Allow people to hear a cool, calm and mature version of yourself.