Manage These Two Perspectives Well and Suck the Juice Out of Life!

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You can intentionally use two distinct perspectives to skyrocket your happiness and minimize your angst on a day-to-day basis.

In NLP, we call these perspectives Associated and Dissociated. Learning what these are and how to use them can turn your mental and emotional life around quickly. Best of all, they are so simple to learn!

Associated means that you are emotionally connected to what’s going on around you. When good things happen, you feel it. When bad things happen, you feel those, too. When you are associated, you are immersed in the sight, sound and feeling of what’s going on. Being associated can be a real roller coaster ride.

Dissociated means that you are observing. You’ve seen people in this state. If you’ve been to a rock concert, a football game or a party, you’ve seen those who don’t get caught up in the hubbub. They aren’t laughing or cheering. They don’t get swept away by the emotion of it all. They look like investigative journalists on assignment.

Here’s the key:

You are capable of both associating and dissociating. Knowing what to do when is the key to sucking the juice out of life and leaving bad mojo behind.

First, some clues about how to associate and dissociate:

To associate:

• Consciously feel your feelings and allow the world to affect you.
• Connect with others. Put yourself in their shoes and identify with what they are feeling.
• Allow yourself to get emotionally involved in whatever is going on in and around you.
• Express your experience to others.

To dissociate:

• Pretend you are a neutral party.
• Look at the big picture.
• Imagine you are an alien sent to earth to observe and report back.
• Approach situations like a journalist.

The magic happens in the conscious application of these two perspectives.

Here are a couple of guidelines to try out:

1. Associate when good things are happening all around you.

2. Dissociate when bad things are happening (do not pretend they aren’t happening – just change to the dissociated perspective – this is important).

It’s that simple. So, here’s your homework. Try using these two perspectives intentionally for a day – just one day. It may make a big difference for you!

Here’s how one of our NLP certification students used association to suck the juice out of life!

So, knowing that I have limited truly happy memories to draw on I guess I should set about allowing myself to feel really good about the great things in my life now. I am learning that being in an associative state can greatly enhance my day-to-day experiences.

Yesterday, while walking along a pathway with woodland to my right and seascape to my left, I consciously drank in the colours, the sounds and the feelings they evoked. Today, that memory is more vivid than it might have been if I had remained in the semi-disconnected state that seems to be my default.

Here’s the $64,000 question:

Are you willing to make this small effort to drastically improve your day (assuming your day could stand some improvement)? If not, then please look into self-sabotage. When there is an opportunity to feel much better and you don’t take it, then you might be self-sabotaging your happiness.Watch this free and enlightening video to discover the simple yet insidious nature of self-sabotage and its solution.

Additionally, if you enjoyed this NLP lesson on Association/Dissociation you would also enjoy our NLP training where you can learn many techniques and modalities to help you grow in your awareness of yourself and others. Read more about it here.

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About Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is a retired psychotherapist, Master NLP trainer, and practicing life coach. He and his wife, Hope, founded iNLP Center in 2011. For information on coaching with Mike, please visit his coaching website AHA System.

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