It might seem impossible to live without fear. Living with some physiological anxiety is inevitable. Anxiety is the brain’s ongoing surveillance to protect you from threats. You should be afraid to touch a hot stove or confront a mugger or jump off a cliff.
Living with daily fears, on the other hand, is not inevitable if you implement the right principles. Here are seven ways you can dramatically reduce or eliminate the fear in your life.
Dedication can help us live without fear.
Holding back your best effort will increase your level of fear because it creates greater risk of poor results. If I you are prone to laziness while starting a new business, then your fear of failure will be high and rightly so. By not giving it your all, you are jeopardizing the project. If you know that you are giving 110%, you will have much greater confidence.
Do you give your all? If not, you have an opportunity to greatly reduce your fear.
Congruity can help us live without fear.
This one boils down to social honesty. If you go along with the crowd or misrepresent yourself for social approval, you create an unavoidable fear of being found out.
If you say yes when you should say no, you create a false perception that you are easy going. Now, you’ve set an expectation that you don’t feel like living to. If you pretend you are more intelligent or capable or accomplished than you are, you now have something to hide.
Living in reality can help us live without fear.
This one is tricky, especially in today’s world where personal development gurus tend to preach that anyone can do anything they set their mind to. If you think you should be capable of accomplishing something of which you are not capable, then your anxiety will be tremendous.
The greatest college basketball coach of all time, John Wooden, once told me that he understood each of his players had differing levels of talent and different limitations. He expected them to do the very best of which they were capable and that is all. Trying to perform in an area where you are less capable seems to be a waste of your talents.
Reducing our overwhelm will help us live without fear.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Trying to eat the whole thing at once creates overwhelm and anxiety, as it should. Not to mention, overwhelm can cause failure because it is often impossible to take on so much and do it all well.
Step-by-step approaches are known for greater productivity. They also reduce fear. In NLP we call it chunking, believing that things are best accomplished one chunk at a time.
Creating a balanced life can help us live without fear.
An imbalanced life creates fear because neglected areas become unmanageable. If you spend most of your time working and neglecting your family, your family will soon reward you with some high stress problems. If you devote all of your time to your children and neglect your marriage, you are inviting distance between you and your partner and fear of all the possible ramifications.
Being authentic can help us live without fear.
Deep down, are you trying to be someone else? Do you have a mentor or hero of some kind that you wish you could be? This is pretty common. People start following a guru or mentor and wish, consciously or unconsciously, that they were living that person’s life.
Wishing you were some else puts you out of touch with your own values and capabilities. Essentially, you are setting yourself up for failure in a big way.
Relationships can help us live without fear.
Our relationships with others is the thing that connects us together and makes us feel not alone in this world (whether that be relationships with others or with a higher power). Seeking relationships that lift us up and not pull us down are key to helping us feel more powerful, capable of achieving our goals and facing our fears. Building these mutual relationships can help others feel more confident and thus, be able to face their fears as well.